Overwhelmed

This week I am feeling very overwhelmed. I was talking to a partner in my firm yesterday about another big decision yet to make (move or not move right now) and he said "Are you sure you want to add another stressful even to your year?". He pointed out that most of the stressful things that happen to you I have covered in one year...here's a recap:

• July 2008 - Daddy had a stroke and we discovered he had cancer, became engaged
• September 2008 - moved into our current house
• October 2008 - got married to the love of my life
• November 2008 - my office moved
• January 2009 - was blessed with pregnancy
• March 2009 - my Daddy passed away
• June 2009 - began the sale process of Daddy's business
• July 2009 - Brian had shoulder surgery; a unforeseen lawsuit surfaced (too much to go into)

To come:

• October 2009 - our precious little one will be born
• October 2009 - hopefully documents to be signed selling the business (the process will go until July of 2010)
• Fall '09/Spring '10 - move???

Now, don't get me wrong. A lot of these things are wonderful blessings, and I wouldn't change it for anything. However, I am feeling very stressed out. I know that all these things are not happening to me right now...and now that new country song "Sounds Like Life" comes to mind. Yeah, it is life. But geez...I just want a break. I don't want to sound whiny, and I am very very strong. I can handle it. I know that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle and I trust Him. It's just hard sometimes...I'm sure we all feel that way.

We found out yesterday that our house is worth less than what we owe - which is the current situation for a lot of America, I'm sure. However, we were also given the news that it may not get better...it may get worse. We know we want to move in the next 2 years, but we're faced with should we do it now? Just cut the bleeding? I'd hate to leave Kenna's beautiful nursery before she even gets to use it! And on the other hand in my head I hear myself say "You should be thankful that you do have a home, a job, etc". Yes, I am thankful. I have a wonderful husband, amazing actually. A little girl on the way. I am so close to my mom and sister. I have a secure job. We are blessed in so many ways. So then I get frustrated at myself for being frustrated. I guess all I can do is pray.

On another note - my first baby shower is tomorrow and I am soooooooooo excited! Mama and Christi have worked so hard on it. It's going to be so fun to see all my family and friends :) Kenna is going to be one lucky (spoiled) little girl!

7 months ya'll!

Yesterday marked 28 weeks, so 7 months! I can't believe it. I don't understand though why they say you're pregnant for 9 months when it's really 10... We're getting really anxious to meet this little girl that does dance aerobics in my tummy almost all day long! Here are some recent belly pictures - the pink/purple dress is 26 weeks and the white pants, brown shirt is yesterday - 28 weeks!

We also have some new additions to her nursery. The glyder that mama got us for her room came in. We also got a white bookshelf and a new lamp. I love the lamp because it's a touch base, 3 settings. That'll come in handy in the middle of the night! Christi is working on doing a little painting on the wall too. The dashes represent where a little bee has been flying...she's going to do the bee hopefully sometime this week.

We went to visit Grandma about a week and a half ago. It was her birthday, so I took off work and me, Christi, & Mama went down and spent the night with her. The next day we took her out to lunch and did a little shopping. She has on her birthday present from me - a tshirt that says "I'm going to be a Great Grandma" :) My Grandma is the sweetest woman, and I hope that she'll be a big part of Kenna's life!

We've completed 3 of the 6 classes for Childbirth at Baptist Hospital. I really enjoy going to them. We have learned a lot, and I especially like how at the end of class we practice our "relaxation techniques" where she turns off the lights and Brian gets to massage me and help me feel relaxed! Last night we saw what an epidural looks like and watched one being given...doesn't look TOO bad...I think I'll try and wait for as long as I can before I get it. I don't want to be stuck in the bed for hours and hours. I think I'd like to be able to walk around. We'll just play it by ear :)

Tomorrow is our friends Todd & Nicole's little girls birthday. Izzy will be 2! I'm painting her some letters for her room like I did Kenna. I'm so excited about them!

That's about all that's going on for us right now...we love each other and our life together!

Heaven

In church this past Sunday, Pastor Stan spoke on the subject of heaven. He mentioned how the bible speaks poetically about heaven. When Paul attempted to speak of his experience, he couldn't put into words what he saw because it was too amazing. There are plenty of references to that we "rest in peace" or "sleep in death". He said that he does not know what heaven will be like, but he just knows that it will be incredible.
I question so often whether or not when we die if we go straight to heaven or do we "sleep in death" to where there is nothing until the Lord comes back. I wonder even more now since Daddy is gone....is he in heaven, or is he simply resting in peace? It honestly scares me to think about the moment of death, when we are no longer here. I am so afraid of there being nothing (aka sleeping in death). But, then again, I will not know that I am just waiting on God to return. "Years on earth is but a second in heaven". It still is a very scary thought though.
I do not think that we are meant to know all of the answers, I do not think that our human minds can wrap around what is waiting for us on the other side. I believe (even though it's easier said than done) that we just have to trust in Him and know that whatever the case, heaven is more than we can ever imagine and know that he will take care of us.

26 weeks down and counting!

So far I'm not doing so great at writing in this blog very often...so I'm making a new year's resolution (in the middle of the year) to write in here every Thursday! Thursday's mark my weeks in pregnancy, so that can help me remember!

So, today I am 26 pregnants, or 6 and a half months. Here's a picture from tonight:

It's gone by so fast, yet it feels like we have so much further to go! We went to our first Childbirth class tonight. I was so excited! We'll go every Thursday for the next 6 weeks. The teacher was great and I hope we learn a lot and it will calm some of our "nerves". Kenna will be here before we know it!

We registered 2 weekends ago - Babies R Us & Target. To be honest, I was disappointed with Target's options. Granted, they do not specialize in baby stuff, but still... We had a great time though and were exhausted by the end of the day!

I'm trying to walk 4-5 times a week, 2 miles at a time in our neighborhood. So far I've gained 20 pounds, and my doctor wants me to stay between 25 and 30 pounds. That's going to be hard to do! He said I was ok now, but to be careful between now and delivery because "chubby babies make for hard deliveries". You'd think you wouldn't stress so much about your weight while pregnant, but it's really hard when you're hungry ALL the time it seems and you have some weight restrictions. Well - I'm trying!

Other than that, we are trying to get Daddy's business sold. It is VERY stressful to say the least. 2 of the partners from my firm are helping me, so that is wonderful. But still, it is very big decisions that will affect all of us, and I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders some days. I try to take one day at a time, and pray my way through all of it!

Brian is healing well from his shoulder surgery (which was 4 weeks ago). He had some torn ligaments and some bone spurs from playing sand volleyball. Hopefully he'll be able to hold Kenna fully healed by the time she gets here!

That's all for now - we'll see if I actually do write again in a week! Going to try! :)

Due Date Countdown Widget

It's a GIRL!!

We found a place called 4D Peek that claims they can determine gender at 15 weeks - so we went yesterday, at 15 weeks 1 day pregnant. It was a very nice clinic and the lady that owns it was wonderful. She had a huge projection on a wall of the ultrasound where we got to watch the regular 2D ultrasound and the 3D also. It was amazing! I was in love just watching the baby move and kick and "dance". I wish I could do that every day!
After about 10 minutes she said "You don't think I'm going to tell you right away, do you?" We were so anxious! The baby was being a little stubborn and turned her back to us for a while. After about 15 minutes, she said "And there's a GIRL's bottom!" I was like "GIRL???" in my head. I just KNEW it was a boy - I was wrong! I was in complete shock for at least an hour after that :) She let us watch her for about 15 more minutes move around - she was using the sides of my uterus to kick off of. She's active, that's for sure! We bought a baby blanket there that is pink and has "Baby Girl" with a stroller embroidered on it then we went to Target and bought some more pink stuff. Of course we sent out our mass texts because we knew people were waiting!
After we went to Mama's house and told her and Christi. They just knew it was a boy too! We let them watch the video (we have the whole thing on DVD" and the whole time they were saying things like "HE's so big" and "look at HIS" arms. Then they saw GIRL across the screen and they screamed!
Such an exciting day. We can't wait to meet her (6 months from now!) and bring her into our family. We are very blessed and thank God every day for her. Now...we just need to agree on a name!

Baby On The Way!!!

We found out on February 20th that we were going to have a little one! The due date is October 29th and we are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited! I am now 13 weeks along and actually starting to show! So now I don't just feel pregnant, I'm starting to look it too :)

When I took the pregnancy test, Brian was playing poker and wouldn't be home for another 3 hours. When I read "pregnant" on the screen (it was digital) I screamed and jumped up and down. Toby hid under the bed for a while :) I had to keep going back and looking to make sure it still said pregnant :) And it did!

I was soooooo anxious to tell Brian, but didn't want to call and tell him (I wanted to see his face!), so I went to Target. I got a onesie that said "I'm a cutie, my mom's a babe, and my dad totally rocks", a pregnancy book for dad's, and another set of pregnancy tests. I put the onesie, book, and the test with a ribbon tied on it in a gift bag. When Brian got home, which felt like 15 hours later, I listed to him go on and on about the poker game (it at least felt that way at the time) and then gave him the gift bag. He said "Really??? Like REALLY really?!?" I told him yes and then he practically tackled me! He was so excited, he called his brother Brett right away :)

We told Daddy, Mama & Christi the next day. I gave Mama a onesie that said "If Mommy says no, ask Grandma". Christi got a "baby" frame that said "Congratulations Aunt Christi" where the picture would go. Daddy got a "Grandchildren" picture frame that read "1st one to arrive in October" where the picture should be. They were all so excited! I'm glad that Daddy got to know and be excited about it for a few weeks. He did tell Mama though that his heart hurt because he would never get to hold his grandchildren. He said "Well, you know it'll be a girl - we don't have boys in this family!" We'll see if he was right the end of May!

We've already begun talking about names, and can't seem to agree on one! Well, boy names are hard enough as it is. But, we have to decide sooner or later! We heard the heartbeat a few weeks ago...and it was completely amazing! I'll keep everyone posted :)


Here is me at about 8 weeks:
















Here is me at 13 weeks (today):