Sunday, March 10, 2013

5-10% chance

We were told we have a 5-10% chance of IVF working, and even if it did, only a 10-15% chance of sustaining a pregnancy. All this boils down to the fact that my ovarian reserve (egg count) is extremely low. "I have nothing in my bag of tricks" he said. Such a blow. Such a heart break. I bawled as we left the office. I thought they would say "we'll just do this, you take this medicine and BAM! You'll have a baby!" My heart is broken.
We are going to do 3 cycles with Clomid, but after busy season because of the side effects. He also suggested some vitamin supplements which I'm going to try.
Right now, I'm still in shock and still trying to digest the news. I'm having a hard time accepting that at 32 I may not be able to get pregnant again.
Adoption is an option. But, I have to close the door on infertility before I can emotionally move forward with adoption. That is a long emotional road all in itself.
I walked in "the baby's room" in our house yesterday for something. The crib, bassinet and baby toys are all in there waiting. It hurt all over again.
Don't get me wrong. I know how blessed we are with Kenna. She is such an amazing child and I'm so proud she is mine. I think about how much I love my sister, how much Brian loves his siblings, and I want that for Kenna too.
Thank you for your sweet messages and your prayers. They are needed and so appreciated.

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