Thursday, April 23, 2009

Baby On The Way!!!

We found out on February 20th that we were going to have a little one! The due date is October 29th and we are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited! I am now 13 weeks along and actually starting to show! So now I don't just feel pregnant, I'm starting to look it too :)

When I took the pregnancy test, Brian was playing poker and wouldn't be home for another 3 hours. When I read "pregnant" on the screen (it was digital) I screamed and jumped up and down. Toby hid under the bed for a while :) I had to keep going back and looking to make sure it still said pregnant :) And it did!

I was soooooo anxious to tell Brian, but didn't want to call and tell him (I wanted to see his face!), so I went to Target. I got a onesie that said "I'm a cutie, my mom's a babe, and my dad totally rocks", a pregnancy book for dad's, and another set of pregnancy tests. I put the onesie, book, and the test with a ribbon tied on it in a gift bag. When Brian got home, which felt like 15 hours later, I listed to him go on and on about the poker game (it at least felt that way at the time) and then gave him the gift bag. He said "Really??? Like REALLY really?!?" I told him yes and then he practically tackled me! He was so excited, he called his brother Brett right away :)

We told Daddy, Mama & Christi the next day. I gave Mama a onesie that said "If Mommy says no, ask Grandma". Christi got a "baby" frame that said "Congratulations Aunt Christi" where the picture would go. Daddy got a "Grandchildren" picture frame that read "1st one to arrive in October" where the picture should be. They were all so excited! I'm glad that Daddy got to know and be excited about it for a few weeks. He did tell Mama though that his heart hurt because he would never get to hold his grandchildren. He said "Well, you know it'll be a girl - we don't have boys in this family!" We'll see if he was right the end of May!

We've already begun talking about names, and can't seem to agree on one! Well, boy names are hard enough as it is. But, we have to decide sooner or later! We heard the heartbeat a few weeks ago...and it was completely amazing! I'll keep everyone posted :)

Here is me at about 8 weeks:

Here is me at 13 weeks (today):

David Wayne Cotham February 23, 1953 - March 5, 2009

Daddy passed away on Thursday, March 5th, 2009. I haven't been able to write about it yet, and it's still not easy seeing a death date after his birth date. I think that will take some getting used to. I still can't believe it is final...I still catch myself wanting to call him and tell him about something, and then sadly remember that I can't. I do know that one day I will get to see him again in heaven, and that I have a personal guardian angel. I cannot say enough about how wonderful he was, and how thankful I am to have him while I did.
He was in my dream the other night, and we were playing softball. It was like I was 17 years old again, and he was as healthy as he could be. I like it when he is in my dreams, because he is like the "old" Daddy I want to remember - the healthy & happy one.
I am glad that Daddy is no longer suffering and that he can now take long deep breaths. I just wish that he was still here with me too - and for that I am kind of selfish. But, I am such a Daddy's girl and still can't imagine the rest of my life without him in it. I know that he will always be in my heart and I can carry the memories, but honestly that just isn't enough. But in reality, it's going to have to be.
Daddy knew how much I loved him. I asked him about a week before he was gone, "Daddy, you know how much I love you, right?" And he said "Yes, honey, I do". He had on his green & black Elk p.j. pants I had gotten him a few Christmases ago :) I just had to make sure he knew, because if he didn't, I was going to tell him. For Christmas this past year, I wrote a book titled "Daddy's Girl" and had it published for him. Every chapter was a different part of our relationship as Daddy & daughter, and how much I appreciated everything he had done for me, complete with pictures. It's hard to say things sometimes and to be able to get them out, but when you write them down, it can come out much easier. He told me that was the best gift he had ever received. I have it on our coffee table in our house now.
Daddy was my best friend. I miss him every day. This will not be the last time I write about him...because his memory still lives in my heart.

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