Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
It's a GIRL!!
We found a place called 4D Peek that claims they can determine gender at 15 weeks - so we went yesterday, at 15 weeks 1 day pregnant. It was a very nice clinic and the lady that owns it was wonderful. She had a huge projection on a wall of the ultrasound where we got to watch the regular 2D ultrasound and the 3D also. It was amazing! I was in love just watching the baby move and kick and "dance". I wish I could do that every day!
After about 10 minutes she said "You don't think I'm going to tell you right away, do you?" We were so anxious! The baby was being a little stubborn and turned her back to us for a while. After about 15 minutes, she said "And there's a GIRL's bottom!" I was like "GIRL???" in my head. I just KNEW it was a boy - I was wrong! I was in complete shock for at least an hour after that :) She let us watch her for about 15 more minutes move around - she was using the sides of my uterus to kick off of. She's active, that's for sure! We bought a baby blanket there that is pink and has "Baby Girl" with a stroller embroidered on it then we went to Target and bought some more pink stuff. Of course we sent out our mass texts because we knew people were waiting!
After we went to Mama's house and told her and Christi. They just knew it was a boy too! We let them watch the video (we have the whole thing on DVD" and the whole time they were saying things like "HE's so big" and "look at HIS" arms. Then they saw GIRL across the screen and they screamed!
Such an exciting day. We can't wait to meet her (6 months from now!) and bring her into our family. We are very blessed and thank God every day for her. Now...we just need to agree on a name!
After about 10 minutes she said "You don't think I'm going to tell you right away, do you?" We were so anxious! The baby was being a little stubborn and turned her back to us for a while. After about 15 minutes, she said "And there's a GIRL's bottom!" I was like "GIRL???" in my head. I just KNEW it was a boy - I was wrong! I was in complete shock for at least an hour after that :) She let us watch her for about 15 more minutes move around - she was using the sides of my uterus to kick off of. She's active, that's for sure! We bought a baby blanket there that is pink and has "Baby Girl" with a stroller embroidered on it then we went to Target and bought some more pink stuff. Of course we sent out our mass texts because we knew people were waiting!
After we went to Mama's house and told her and Christi. They just knew it was a boy too! We let them watch the video (we have the whole thing on DVD" and the whole time they were saying things like "HE's so big" and "look at HIS" arms. Then they saw GIRL across the screen and they screamed!
Such an exciting day. We can't wait to meet her (6 months from now!) and bring her into our family. We are very blessed and thank God every day for her. Now...we just need to agree on a name!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Baby On The Way!!!
We found out on February 20th that we were going to have a little one! The due date is October 29th and we are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited! I am now 13 weeks along and actually starting to show! So now I don't just feel pregnant, I'm starting to look it too :)
When I took the pregnancy test, Brian was playing poker and wouldn't be home for another 3 hours. When I read "pregnant" on the screen (it was digital) I screamed and jumped up and down. Toby hid under the bed for a while :) I had to keep going back and looking to make sure it still said pregnant :) And it did!
I was soooooo anxious to tell Brian, but didn't want to call and tell him (I wanted to see his face!), so I went to Target. I got a onesie that said "I'm a cutie, my mom's a babe, and my dad totally rocks", a pregnancy book for dad's, and another set of pregnancy tests. I put the onesie, book, and the test with a ribbon tied on it in a gift bag. When Brian got home, which felt like 15 hours later, I listed to him go on and on about the poker game (it at least felt that way at the time) and then gave him the gift bag. He said "Really??? Like REALLY really?!?" I told him yes and then he practically tackled me! He was so excited, he called his brother Brett right away :)
We told Daddy, Mama & Christi the next day. I gave Mama a onesie that said "If Mommy says no, ask Grandma". Christi got a "baby" frame that said "Congratulations Aunt Christi" where the picture would go. Daddy got a "Grandchildren" picture frame that read "1st one to arrive in October" where the picture should be. They were all so excited! I'm glad that Daddy got to know and be excited about it for a few weeks. He did tell Mama though that his heart hurt because he would never get to hold his grandchildren. He said "Well, you know it'll be a girl - we don't have boys in this family!" We'll see if he was right the end of May!
We've already begun talking about names, and can't seem to agree on one! Well, boy names are hard enough as it is. But, we have to decide sooner or later! We heard the heartbeat a few weeks ago...and it was completely amazing! I'll keep everyone posted :)
Here is me at about 8 weeks:
Here is me at 13 weeks (today):
When I took the pregnancy test, Brian was playing poker and wouldn't be home for another 3 hours. When I read "pregnant" on the screen (it was digital) I screamed and jumped up and down. Toby hid under the bed for a while :) I had to keep going back and looking to make sure it still said pregnant :) And it did!
I was soooooo anxious to tell Brian, but didn't want to call and tell him (I wanted to see his face!), so I went to Target. I got a onesie that said "I'm a cutie, my mom's a babe, and my dad totally rocks", a pregnancy book for dad's, and another set of pregnancy tests. I put the onesie, book, and the test with a ribbon tied on it in a gift bag. When Brian got home, which felt like 15 hours later, I listed to him go on and on about the poker game (it at least felt that way at the time) and then gave him the gift bag. He said "Really??? Like REALLY really?!?" I told him yes and then he practically tackled me! He was so excited, he called his brother Brett right away :)
We told Daddy, Mama & Christi the next day. I gave Mama a onesie that said "If Mommy says no, ask Grandma". Christi got a "baby" frame that said "Congratulations Aunt Christi" where the picture would go. Daddy got a "Grandchildren" picture frame that read "1st one to arrive in October" where the picture should be. They were all so excited! I'm glad that Daddy got to know and be excited about it for a few weeks. He did tell Mama though that his heart hurt because he would never get to hold his grandchildren. He said "Well, you know it'll be a girl - we don't have boys in this family!" We'll see if he was right the end of May!
We've already begun talking about names, and can't seem to agree on one! Well, boy names are hard enough as it is. But, we have to decide sooner or later! We heard the heartbeat a few weeks ago...and it was completely amazing! I'll keep everyone posted :)
Here is me at about 8 weeks:
Here is me at 13 weeks (today):
David Wayne Cotham February 23, 1953 - March 5, 2009
Daddy passed away on Thursday, March 5th, 2009. I haven't been able to write about it yet, and it's still not easy seeing a death date after his birth date. I think that will take some getting used to. I still can't believe it is final...I still catch myself wanting to call him and tell him about something, and then sadly remember that I can't. I do know that one day I will get to see him again in heaven, and that I have a personal guardian angel. I cannot say enough about how wonderful he was, and how thankful I am to have him while I did.
He was in my dream the other night, and we were playing softball. It was like I was 17 years old again, and he was as healthy as he could be. I like it when he is in my dreams, because he is like the "old" Daddy I want to remember - the healthy & happy one.
I am glad that Daddy is no longer suffering and that he can now take long deep breaths. I just wish that he was still here with me too - and for that I am kind of selfish. But, I am such a Daddy's girl and still can't imagine the rest of my life without him in it. I know that he will always be in my heart and I can carry the memories, but honestly that just isn't enough. But in reality, it's going to have to be.
Daddy knew how much I loved him. I asked him about a week before he was gone, "Daddy, you know how much I love you, right?" And he said "Yes, honey, I do". He had on his green & black Elk p.j. pants I had gotten him a few Christmases ago :) I just had to make sure he knew, because if he didn't, I was going to tell him. For Christmas this past year, I wrote a book titled "Daddy's Girl" and had it published for him. Every chapter was a different part of our relationship as Daddy & daughter, and how much I appreciated everything he had done for me, complete with pictures. It's hard to say things sometimes and to be able to get them out, but when you write them down, it can come out much easier. He told me that was the best gift he had ever received. I have it on our coffee table in our house now.
Daddy was my best friend. I miss him every day. This will not be the last time I write about him...because his memory still lives in my heart.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Daddy Update
I went with my parents on the 6th to Daddy’s dr. appt. We thought that they would have the results from a test to see if he was eligible for a clinical drug. However, the results were not in. Daddy told the doctor what physical problems he was having, including cough, painful joints, headaches and swelling. There were not many answers.
Last week he and Mama met with his radiology doctor. Daddy said that he prescribed him something for his cough, something to relieve his painful joints, and an antidepressant. I really hope that all of these help because he has been in so much pain it is hard for him to walk or simply get out of a chair, and his spirits are very low and often cries.
He has another scan on March 13th which will tell us more. The last scan showed that the cancer had not grown, but also has not shrunk. They (all the doctors) will determine the next step from there. Daddy also goes to a neurological doctor tomorrow to see if he can be released to take some tests so that he can “legally” drive. This would be such a small victory for him.
This past weekend he spent in Hickman Co in the new "Camp Cotham". For those of you who don't know, Daddy was in the process of building a new cabin when he had his stroke last July. It is almost finished, and it is a light in Daddy's life right now. He had some really good days...a number 6 or so he said. (He lets us know how he feels in numbers on a scale from 1 to 10, and usually he is about a 2). I went with Mama to pick him up on Sunday, and he talked all the way home to me. He was so excited and looked so good in his jeans, cap, and button up shirt compared to his usual attire of sweats. When we got home he broke down in tears because he said he was starting to think he was never going to feel that good again. I pray that Daddy has many many more high number days ahead!
Thank you for all your support and prayers!
Last week he and Mama met with his radiology doctor. Daddy said that he prescribed him something for his cough, something to relieve his painful joints, and an antidepressant. I really hope that all of these help because he has been in so much pain it is hard for him to walk or simply get out of a chair, and his spirits are very low and often cries.
He has another scan on March 13th which will tell us more. The last scan showed that the cancer had not grown, but also has not shrunk. They (all the doctors) will determine the next step from there. Daddy also goes to a neurological doctor tomorrow to see if he can be released to take some tests so that he can “legally” drive. This would be such a small victory for him.
This past weekend he spent in Hickman Co in the new "Camp Cotham". For those of you who don't know, Daddy was in the process of building a new cabin when he had his stroke last July. It is almost finished, and it is a light in Daddy's life right now. He had some really good days...a number 6 or so he said. (He lets us know how he feels in numbers on a scale from 1 to 10, and usually he is about a 2). I went with Mama to pick him up on Sunday, and he talked all the way home to me. He was so excited and looked so good in his jeans, cap, and button up shirt compared to his usual attire of sweats. When we got home he broke down in tears because he said he was starting to think he was never going to feel that good again. I pray that Daddy has many many more high number days ahead!
Thank you for all your support and prayers!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Praying for good news Friday
Friday we will find out if Daddy is eligible for a clinical drug - chemo in the form of a pill. The pill, if he is eligible, will keep the cancer cells from being able to communicate to each other so that they cannot multiply. The drug name is Tarceva. I am really really hoping that he can take this pill, because I think that if he can't, he will have to be talked into doing chemotherapy intravenously and radiation again. He and his body just can't take much more.
It amazes me how much the affects on people who are going through chemotherapy vary. I mean, some people seem to function through life the same, as to where Daddy can hardly make it out of the bed some days. Yesterday he stayed in the bed most of the day because his joints hurt too bad to move. That is a side affect of the radiation. It is KILLING me to watch him like this. And I hate to admit it, and it brings tears to my eyes just writing it, but I am starting to see him more as my sick Daddy than the Daddy I had before he was sick. I know that is awful, but it has been this way for almost 7 months. I feel so helpless because I can't make it better. I sit hear with tears rolling down my face....I never could have imagined my stong, invincible, stubborn, energetic Daddy like this. You used to have to beg him to sit down for 5 minutes...now it's a struggle for him to get up for 5 minutes. Life can change at any moment...
He is miserable...he tells Mama things that he doesn't tell me. I know he doesn't want me to know. But he tells Mama that this isn't "living". I don't want him to suffer. I really don't. I feel selfish wanting him to keep fighting so that he is here for ME, for MY future children. But, I simply can't imagine life without him. I think...what if he just has to go through this 2 more years, 3 more years? And then he is cancer free and has 20+ more years of a healthy life? But, I don't know what he's going through. I don't know how bad the pain is, how severe the headaches are, or what it feels like to walk down a hallway and it feels like I've ran a marathon. And I know, through all this, he is thinking how it affects me, Mama & Christi more than it affects him. That is just the man he is.
I am going to the doctor appointment Friday. Please please please pray for good news. Please pray for Daddy to have good days...and to have hope. I think it is starting to run thin.
It amazes me how much the affects on people who are going through chemotherapy vary. I mean, some people seem to function through life the same, as to where Daddy can hardly make it out of the bed some days. Yesterday he stayed in the bed most of the day because his joints hurt too bad to move. That is a side affect of the radiation. It is KILLING me to watch him like this. And I hate to admit it, and it brings tears to my eyes just writing it, but I am starting to see him more as my sick Daddy than the Daddy I had before he was sick. I know that is awful, but it has been this way for almost 7 months. I feel so helpless because I can't make it better. I sit hear with tears rolling down my face....I never could have imagined my stong, invincible, stubborn, energetic Daddy like this. You used to have to beg him to sit down for 5 minutes...now it's a struggle for him to get up for 5 minutes. Life can change at any moment...
He is miserable...he tells Mama things that he doesn't tell me. I know he doesn't want me to know. But he tells Mama that this isn't "living". I don't want him to suffer. I really don't. I feel selfish wanting him to keep fighting so that he is here for ME, for MY future children. But, I simply can't imagine life without him. I think...what if he just has to go through this 2 more years, 3 more years? And then he is cancer free and has 20+ more years of a healthy life? But, I don't know what he's going through. I don't know how bad the pain is, how severe the headaches are, or what it feels like to walk down a hallway and it feels like I've ran a marathon. And I know, through all this, he is thinking how it affects me, Mama & Christi more than it affects him. That is just the man he is.
I am going to the doctor appointment Friday. Please please please pray for good news. Please pray for Daddy to have good days...and to have hope. I think it is starting to run thin.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Waiting...
I'm waiting on a lot of things it feels like today...waiting on this work day to be over, waiting to be pregnant, waiting for Daddy to feel better, waiting for packages to arrive in the mail. OK, 2 of those are important, and the other 2 not so much. I've heard before that you shouldn't wish days to go by faster, because we have such little time here to begin with, why should we hurry it on?
I guess I'm having a hard time enjoying the simplicity of normal days because I'm trying to hurry up to the days where I have a growing belly and my Daddy that can do what he wants and not be exhausted lying on the couch every day. I know that's bad and I'm trying to work at enjoying the right now...
So, once again I ask for prayer. Shouldn't we all not be afraid to ask for prayer from those that we love and that love us? So many times I don't ask "please pray for me", but I think I might start. I ask for prayers for my dad, but please pray for me too. And please let me know if you need me to pray for you. We all need all the prayers we can get I believe.
I'm going to lift up a few people here - and I hope they don't mind. I pray that Brian finds some peace at his job. I pray that my sister has a great 2nd semester of grad school. I pray that my mom continues to find patience. I pray that Daddy's cancer is dying so that my dad can live. I pray that Le finds happiness and security in her current job or that she finds one that will provide both. I pray that Jess and French will get their precious baby soon. I pray that Katie's back starts to heal how it should and her pain is alleviated. I pray that C's husband finds another job soon. I pray that Jess & Brett have a healthy baby in a few months. I pray that everyone I know travels safely this Christmas. I pray that the next year starts off great...and I'll try not to hurry it up and get here.
I guess I'm having a hard time enjoying the simplicity of normal days because I'm trying to hurry up to the days where I have a growing belly and my Daddy that can do what he wants and not be exhausted lying on the couch every day. I know that's bad and I'm trying to work at enjoying the right now...
So, once again I ask for prayer. Shouldn't we all not be afraid to ask for prayer from those that we love and that love us? So many times I don't ask "please pray for me", but I think I might start. I ask for prayers for my dad, but please pray for me too. And please let me know if you need me to pray for you. We all need all the prayers we can get I believe.
I'm going to lift up a few people here - and I hope they don't mind. I pray that Brian finds some peace at his job. I pray that my sister has a great 2nd semester of grad school. I pray that my mom continues to find patience. I pray that Daddy's cancer is dying so that my dad can live. I pray that Le finds happiness and security in her current job or that she finds one that will provide both. I pray that Jess and French will get their precious baby soon. I pray that Katie's back starts to heal how it should and her pain is alleviated. I pray that C's husband finds another job soon. I pray that Jess & Brett have a healthy baby in a few months. I pray that everyone I know travels safely this Christmas. I pray that the next year starts off great...and I'll try not to hurry it up and get here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
The Story of Praying
Well, you almost had me fooled Told me that I was nothing without you Oh, but after everything you've done I can thank you for ho...
