Waiting on Kenna...

Yesterday was my first day of maternity leave. Not planning on going back until January 27th. That is a looooooooooong time! I just wish that I had a baby to be "maternal" for! Haha. My due date is 2 days away. I have been having contractions for about half a week now that can be painful, but nothing consistent. My doctor said that he would let me go a week over before he would induce me unless there was a medical reason. I really would like to go into labor naturally though, because I have heard (and my doctor said) that induced labors are harder, longer, have more risk of infection, and run a higher chance of ending up in a C-section. I know Kenna will come when she is ready, but I'M READY!

Yesterday was a good day. I was up at 6:30 (internal clock I guess), did some stuff around the house, took Toby on a long walk (trying to stir things up), then got ready for the day. I went to have lunch with Brian at O'Charley's - gotta love that! Then I did a little shopping and got a manicure. Last night we went over to Mama's and had supper then took some furniture that we are donating to a single mother in need over to our pastor's house. They are doing an extreme home makeover type thing for her on Friday. It felt really good to be a part of something that will greatly benefit someone else.

Today, so far, I actually slept in until 8:20. It's now 11:30 and I'm still in my pajamas, but it's a good day for it because it's rainy and blah outside. I plan on staying in my pajamas all day unless Kenna decides to "make a move", as Brian says! We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning at 8:30. Hopefully we'll get some good news (like I'm more dilated or something - I was 1 centimeter last Wednesday).

Brian and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary on October 18. We went to The Melting Pot for dinner, and it was fabulous! We chose The Melting Pot because we went there for one of our first "real" dates for my birthday a few years ago.

Hopefully my next blog entry will be our birth story! :)

Full Term!

I had a doctor's appointment this morning for my 37 week check up. I am not dilated AT ALL, but, she is head down. Her heart beat is still very strong and my blood pressure is awesome. He said that the 1st baby is usually stubborn...I just hope she comes sooner than later! We just can't wait to meet her! I go back next Wednesday (if she isn't here by then ;) ) to see if there is any more progress. I started having a few contractions yesterday, so hopefully those will get the ball rolling!

Other than that, Brian's Grandma Shoub passed away Saturday morning unexpectedly. They believe that she had a brain aneurysm - she would've been 80 on November 3rd. So, Saturday we made the 8 hour drive and came back last night after the funeral. Very long weekend and first of the week. She was a huge part of Brian's life, and we are all going to miss this very sweet lady. Here is a picture of us with her at our wedding last year:

We are STILL trying to close on Daddy's business. Hopefully that'll get done before I go into labor. Ugh. Yes, very big UGH.

As time draws nearer for Kenna to be here, I think more and more about how much I hate that Daddy isn't here to meet her...to hold her...he would have been the best Granddaddy. My heart hurts for him that he never got the opportunity to live it out. I will do my best to make sure Kenna and any of our other children know what a great man their Granddaddy was. I want to try my best for them to know him without ever meeting him. I hope that he shines through me.

I hope that everyone has a great rest of the week.

Just a little behind...

Well, August was a busy month! I didn't stick to my weekly blog writing as I had tried to commit to, so, I have some catching up to do!

I've had 2 baby showers since I last wrote. One was with family and long time friends. The other was mainly just girlfriends. Mama and Christi hosted the 1st one, and LeAnna hosted the 2nd. Both were great! Kenna got so much stuff. We're still trying to figure out where to put it all! haha Brett, Brian's brother, works for Closets By Design, and he is graciously doing Kenna's closet for us. Getting some extra shelving, drawers, and rods. I'll post pictures once it's done. It's going to give us so much more room! The past few nights Brian and I have worked on washing all her little clothes, getting them ready for her to wear! It's amazing how many baby clothes you can wash in just one load! :) Here's a picture from the family shower with my cake and flowers Christi got me:

2 Sundays ago we all went to Camp Cotham. We went to hang Daddy's "animals" that he had "gamed" and had stuffed. A lot of his good friends were there, including some family. We (well, I watched) hung 2 elk, 1 moose, 1 caribou, and 4 deer. The elk, moose, and caribou are from Alaska and New Mexico. Very neat to have up in Daddy's cabin that he was so proud of. Here are some pictures:

Last Thursday Brian and I graduated from our childbirth classes at Baptist. The week before we went to the nursery. Just seeing those babies made me tear up - I can't believe Kenna is going to be here so soon! We are so ready to meet her! Christi and Mama came to graduation night because it was also about newborn care and they wanted to hear all about that! Christi tried on the sympathy belly - here's a picture :) :

Last Saturday I went to my friend Kristin's baby shower. She is exactly 5 weeks ahead of me. Her little girl will be here any day now! Maybe our little girls will play softball together one day! Here is a picture of us...she's about 36 wks, 2 days, I'm 31 wks, 2 days:

We also had a family reunion last Saturday on my mom's side. We play some HORSE in the gym, and not to brag, but I was on FIRE. And pregnant. Oh yeah. :) Sunday LeAnna took some maternity pictures of us. I can't wait to see them and share them with everyone! That's all for now. I hope everyone is having a great week!

Overwhelmed

This week I am feeling very overwhelmed. I was talking to a partner in my firm yesterday about another big decision yet to make (move or not move right now) and he said "Are you sure you want to add another stressful even to your year?". He pointed out that most of the stressful things that happen to you I have covered in one year...here's a recap:

• July 2008 - Daddy had a stroke and we discovered he had cancer, became engaged
• September 2008 - moved into our current house
• October 2008 - got married to the love of my life
• November 2008 - my office moved
• January 2009 - was blessed with pregnancy
• March 2009 - my Daddy passed away
• June 2009 - began the sale process of Daddy's business
• July 2009 - Brian had shoulder surgery; a unforeseen lawsuit surfaced (too much to go into)

To come:

• October 2009 - our precious little one will be born
• October 2009 - hopefully documents to be signed selling the business (the process will go until July of 2010)
• Fall '09/Spring '10 - move???

Now, don't get me wrong. A lot of these things are wonderful blessings, and I wouldn't change it for anything. However, I am feeling very stressed out. I know that all these things are not happening to me right now...and now that new country song "Sounds Like Life" comes to mind. Yeah, it is life. But geez...I just want a break. I don't want to sound whiny, and I am very very strong. I can handle it. I know that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle and I trust Him. It's just hard sometimes...I'm sure we all feel that way.

We found out yesterday that our house is worth less than what we owe - which is the current situation for a lot of America, I'm sure. However, we were also given the news that it may not get better...it may get worse. We know we want to move in the next 2 years, but we're faced with should we do it now? Just cut the bleeding? I'd hate to leave Kenna's beautiful nursery before she even gets to use it! And on the other hand in my head I hear myself say "You should be thankful that you do have a home, a job, etc". Yes, I am thankful. I have a wonderful husband, amazing actually. A little girl on the way. I am so close to my mom and sister. I have a secure job. We are blessed in so many ways. So then I get frustrated at myself for being frustrated. I guess all I can do is pray.

On another note - my first baby shower is tomorrow and I am soooooooooo excited! Mama and Christi have worked so hard on it. It's going to be so fun to see all my family and friends :) Kenna is going to be one lucky (spoiled) little girl!

7 months ya'll!

Yesterday marked 28 weeks, so 7 months! I can't believe it. I don't understand though why they say you're pregnant for 9 months when it's really 10... We're getting really anxious to meet this little girl that does dance aerobics in my tummy almost all day long! Here are some recent belly pictures - the pink/purple dress is 26 weeks and the white pants, brown shirt is yesterday - 28 weeks!

We also have some new additions to her nursery. The glyder that mama got us for her room came in. We also got a white bookshelf and a new lamp. I love the lamp because it's a touch base, 3 settings. That'll come in handy in the middle of the night! Christi is working on doing a little painting on the wall too. The dashes represent where a little bee has been flying...she's going to do the bee hopefully sometime this week.

We went to visit Grandma about a week and a half ago. It was her birthday, so I took off work and me, Christi, & Mama went down and spent the night with her. The next day we took her out to lunch and did a little shopping. She has on her birthday present from me - a tshirt that says "I'm going to be a Great Grandma" :) My Grandma is the sweetest woman, and I hope that she'll be a big part of Kenna's life!

We've completed 3 of the 6 classes for Childbirth at Baptist Hospital. I really enjoy going to them. We have learned a lot, and I especially like how at the end of class we practice our "relaxation techniques" where she turns off the lights and Brian gets to massage me and help me feel relaxed! Last night we saw what an epidural looks like and watched one being given...doesn't look TOO bad...I think I'll try and wait for as long as I can before I get it. I don't want to be stuck in the bed for hours and hours. I think I'd like to be able to walk around. We'll just play it by ear :)

Tomorrow is our friends Todd & Nicole's little girls birthday. Izzy will be 2! I'm painting her some letters for her room like I did Kenna. I'm so excited about them!

That's about all that's going on for us right now...we love each other and our life together!

Heaven

In church this past Sunday, Pastor Stan spoke on the subject of heaven. He mentioned how the bible speaks poetically about heaven. When Paul attempted to speak of his experience, he couldn't put into words what he saw because it was too amazing. There are plenty of references to that we "rest in peace" or "sleep in death". He said that he does not know what heaven will be like, but he just knows that it will be incredible.
I question so often whether or not when we die if we go straight to heaven or do we "sleep in death" to where there is nothing until the Lord comes back. I wonder even more now since Daddy is gone....is he in heaven, or is he simply resting in peace? It honestly scares me to think about the moment of death, when we are no longer here. I am so afraid of there being nothing (aka sleeping in death). But, then again, I will not know that I am just waiting on God to return. "Years on earth is but a second in heaven". It still is a very scary thought though.
I do not think that we are meant to know all of the answers, I do not think that our human minds can wrap around what is waiting for us on the other side. I believe (even though it's easier said than done) that we just have to trust in Him and know that whatever the case, heaven is more than we can ever imagine and know that he will take care of us.

26 weeks down and counting!

So far I'm not doing so great at writing in this blog very often...so I'm making a new year's resolution (in the middle of the year) to write in here every Thursday! Thursday's mark my weeks in pregnancy, so that can help me remember!

So, today I am 26 pregnants, or 6 and a half months. Here's a picture from tonight:

It's gone by so fast, yet it feels like we have so much further to go! We went to our first Childbirth class tonight. I was so excited! We'll go every Thursday for the next 6 weeks. The teacher was great and I hope we learn a lot and it will calm some of our "nerves". Kenna will be here before we know it!

We registered 2 weekends ago - Babies R Us & Target. To be honest, I was disappointed with Target's options. Granted, they do not specialize in baby stuff, but still... We had a great time though and were exhausted by the end of the day!

I'm trying to walk 4-5 times a week, 2 miles at a time in our neighborhood. So far I've gained 20 pounds, and my doctor wants me to stay between 25 and 30 pounds. That's going to be hard to do! He said I was ok now, but to be careful between now and delivery because "chubby babies make for hard deliveries". You'd think you wouldn't stress so much about your weight while pregnant, but it's really hard when you're hungry ALL the time it seems and you have some weight restrictions. Well - I'm trying!

Other than that, we are trying to get Daddy's business sold. It is VERY stressful to say the least. 2 of the partners from my firm are helping me, so that is wonderful. But still, it is very big decisions that will affect all of us, and I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders some days. I try to take one day at a time, and pray my way through all of it!

Brian is healing well from his shoulder surgery (which was 4 weeks ago). He had some torn ligaments and some bone spurs from playing sand volleyball. Hopefully he'll be able to hold Kenna fully healed by the time she gets here!

That's all for now - we'll see if I actually do write again in a week! Going to try! :)