Wednesday, July 5, 2017
Talking my stories out
My dear friend Amanda McNeal took these photos of me a few weeks back. She drew the sketch out and had her art in mind and I had no idea what she would create from the images. After looking at the picture and studying it, I see how it was perfectly meant for me. The current Carla has a healthy and happy life moving forward in time, but she also drags the old me behind her, looking over her, trying to save her. I have nightmares, a lot of them, so my subconscious cannot escape my past. The present me carries the past me on her shoulders every day. My psychiatrist told me that I haven't "talked them to death" - meaning I haven't shared my painful stories enough to just get them out.
I have struggled with depression and anxiety for years. Thankfully there is medication that helps me with these mental sicknesses. There are several reasons I believe I struggle from both - one genes, and the other the events of my life so far. I have decided to change the theme of this blog to being pieces of my story. I hope that one, it allows healing for me, and two, that it opens the door for others to also talk about their story, common experiences, or current struggles.
A lot of these stories I will use fictitious names to give others privacy. I hope that whoever reads this will benefit in some way, or can share it with someone else who may just need to hear that they are not alone.
Time to let go,
As I stated in one of the earlier posts, our mind has a way of protecting us from painful memories. Just blocked. I know that within 6 mo...