Gray Hair & "Old" Ovaries

I found my first gray hair at 17 years old. I would now estimate about 40% of my hair to be gray. Thank goodness for hairstylists and hair color that hide it. That's an easy fix.

However, being told this past week that my ovaries look older than I am, well, that isn't an easy fix. Apparently my ovaries look like I'm 40 based on an ultrasound that was done last Wednesday - and I'm 32. I also had some blood work done which the results came in yesterday and confirmed the original prognosis. They tested my AMH (Anti-Mullerian Hormone) level, which came back at a "very low" 0.3 ng/mL which, according to the Nurse Practitioner, they want to be at least a 1.0. Simply put, this test measures the number of eggs you have left.

Needless to say, I'm blind-sided with this new information. I mean, I knew there was something probably going on, like my endometriosis causing the infertility issues, and we could do a simple IUI (intra uterine insemination) and all would be dandy and I'd be pregnant! The NP said that there is hope but they would want to be very aggressive with my fertility treatments if we choose to do any. I asked if it was something that I did, and she said no, that sometimes it's genetics and sometimes they just don't know the cause of low AMH levels.  

We will go back in about 2 weeks and have another test done that will show if there is any scarring in my uterus from my C-Section with Kenna or from my endometriosis. This will give light on whether or not a baby would be able to attach itself to the lining.   

I do encourage anyone who is trying to get pregnant, and has not gotten pregnant in 6 months of actively (ovulation tests, charting, timing, etc) trying to consider getting a fertility consult done. It will not hurt anything to just know if there is something going on. I thought I had to at least 35 until I'd have to worry, but now, at 32, time is of the essence for me.  

I know deep down we are not done growing our family, I'm just not sure which path we will take to get there. I am so thankful to have a wonderful & supportive husband, a loving family,  and great friends and co-workers to talk to and lean on. But most of all, an almighty God who knows what is best. We will have some BIG decisions to make in the next month or so, so I ask for prayers of guidance and peace for us. 

Nashville Fertility Center - Here we come.

Part of me secretly thought it would never come to this.  I really thought that it would happen on it's own.  However, it hasn't! We had some tests ran. My thyroid is normal. And Brian's test, well, his results were "phenomenal" per the nurse who gave him his results ;)
So, we have been referred to the Nashville Fertility Center. Lots of paperwork has been completed, and now we wait to schedule our consultation. There are so many questions in our heads...how far will we go?  How much money will we spend? We have decided to take it one day at a time, that's all we can do anyway, right?  I'm anxious for the consultation and to see what our steps are.  I feel better just knowing that there is help, and that we are asking for it.  For anyone who has really had to "try" to get pregnant, you know the emotional toll it brings.  After a while, that roller coaster starts to bring you down.  So, we are moving forward!  Here we go...

Our Ongoing Journey to Baby #2

I have decided to share our experience in hopes that I can encourage someone else, and receive encouragement.  I have learned in my life that when I share things I have gone through, or that I am going through, I can open the door for other people to have someone to talk to when otherwise they wouldn't.  I have been through a lot in my 32 year old life, and I am willing to share with others in hope that I can help someone else.

So, here is the story of our current journey...

It only took 5 months to get pregnant with Kenna with no complications. We started in December of 2010 trying to have another baby and a sibling for Kenna.  6 months later in May of 2011 we learned we were pregnant!  We were so excited!!  I had to have early blood work because in 2003 I had an ectopic pregnancy which left a damaged fallopian tube and increases your risks to having another ectopic pregnancy.  To learn more about ectopic pregnancies, click here.  The blood work showed that my HCG levels were not increasing as they should be.  We had an early ultrasound that showed the baby was developing behind schedule.  We continued with blood work for a few weeks, which still showed my HCG was increasing, but not at the rate it should be.  However, I had started to experience nausea and felt like things were going to be ok!  We had another ultrasound on July 19th, 2011 that showed the baby had not developed at all and that there was a 99% chance the pregnancy would miscarriage.  We had a D&C the next day.  My heart was broken.

We tried again, month after month, for a year without any success.  I feared something was wrong, and went to see my doctor because I had been diagnosed with endometriosis with my ectopic pregnancy in 2003.  I had laparoscopic surgery on August 30th of this year to determine if it was back, and it was back, along with findings that my left fallopian tube is almost completely damaged and not "usable" from the ectopic pregnancy.  Also, the scar tissue from my c-section with Kenna was excessive and was causing my uterus to be moved up and against my abdomen - in a place it should not be.  My doctor fixed what he could, and told me after surgery he was optimistic we would be able to get pregnant.  We were told to try 6 more months, and if we are still not pregnant, we will be talking to a fertility specialist.  We have been trying now for 3 months post surgery with no baby on the way...YET.  We just crossed the 2 years of trying mark...which for anyone who has really had to "try" to get pregnant, you know the emotional roller coaster that each month brings.

We consider ourselves so blessed with Kenna who is perfectly healthy and happy.  My goal was to have Kenna and her brother or sister 2 years apart, and we are getting closer to 4 years apart now if we were to get pregnant anytime soon.  We just continue to pray for a healthy and happy baby in our near future, and continue to thank God for the beautiful little girl we have.

I wanted to share our journey, because there is such a thing as second child infertility, which not many people have heard of.  For those of you that are still trying for your first, please try to be patient with yourself, and talk to your doctor if you feel you need to.  Trust me, I know being patient is much easier said than done...and hearing "just relax and it will happen" gets really old!  Please share your story with me or share my story with someone else, and we can encourage each other.

Love,

Carla

Kenna Turns One!

Our baby turned one 2 weeks ago on November 7th. In one moment I think it has gone by so fast and it feels like I just had her a few days ago. In the next moment, I realize how much has happened in her one little year of life, and it feels right.
I am so proud to be this little girl's Mama. She is just so SWEET! I love when she sees me across the room after a few minutes of playing alone, and she comes over just to give me a big smile and hug, then goes off to her merry little way to play some more.
We got to have her party on her actual birthday at our house. We decided to keep it "small" with just family, but that included a lot of people! We're blessed to have so many family members that we are close to.
At one, she could walk about 6-7 wobbly steps. She was saying the words "uh-oh", "thank you" (in her own way), "da-da", "easy" and tries to say "itsy bitsy" for the itsy bitsy spider song. No "Mama" yet, but I'm patiently waiting... As patient as I can to hear those sweet little syllables!
Here are some pics from that very special day:



Good morning big one year old!



Kenna's Great Grandaddy & Grandmother



Brian with his dad and stepmom


Kenna and her Aunt Cici


Us with our birthday girl


Kenna loves her cousin Teaghan & giving hugs!



Big one year old!


Reading birthday cards


Yummy ladybug cake


Grandmother and my pretty Mama


Opening presents


Family of 3!


The aftermath of the cake!

Catchin' Up to Speed

Wow. I haven't written in here since August. I constantly feel like I have so much to do with not enough time to do it in. I mean, I know everybody probably feels that way. Who has time to put photo books together, write in their blogs, keep up with their kids calendars of milestones, read magazines, exercise and keep up with their favorite tv shows (my DVR has 3 weeks worth as of now) on TOP of everything else? If you have the time, please do share your secrets with me. :)
Since I have last wrote, to catch up with just me, I have 2 surgeries scheduled for this month. One, to drain the hematoma from my leg that I got after falling down a flight of stairs at work - action movie style - and two on my left shoulder. I think I hurt my shoulder playing on the playset we have in our backyard. But it just hurts so bad sometimes I have to do something about it. I also just went to the doctor Wednesday about a lump I found in my neck about 4 weeks ago that hasn't gone down. Call me paranoid, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Since Daddy died from cancer, I'm pretty scared I will have cancer too. I pretty much convince myself when one thing is wrong with me that it's cancer. I really need to work on enjoying TODAY instead of worrying all the time. I do have a cold right now too, which makes me have other swollen nodes, but this one in particular has been there for weeks! My doctor said it's probably just from an infection and he gave me some antibiotics to help it go down. He also did blood work which came back fine, thank God. I'm still going to an ENT doctor next week though because they want to make sure it's taken care of before my surgeries. The shoulder surgery is scheduled for Nov. 19th and my leg isn't scheduled yet because worker's comp has to approve it. THAT's been a fun experience. :)
I turned 30!!! It really didn't bother me and I think it's just because I am so happy in my life. I have a beautiful healthy sweet little girl, a loving husband with a heart of gold, a good job where I am respected and appreciated, a nice warm home, a mom and sister I could call any time of day who are also my best friends, and a best friend who I know will always be there (who also made me the awesome "Sugar Cube" T-shirt below for my birthday - check out her blog at Lele Green Captures). There was nothing sad about celebrating the 30th year of my life. I had an 80's party to appreciate the year I was born. See mine and Brian's pic below :)
Kenna has grown so much and simultaneously it's hard to believe she'll be ONE in 2 days because I can remember the day she joined us like it was yesterday, but then I think of how much has happened since she was born, and it's been a lot! She is taking 5-6 steps at a time now and considers walking her main source of transportation. She wants to hold my hand a lot to get around and it is so sweet. She has learned how to say "uh-oh" and will push things off her highchair just so she can say it! She also says "da-da" a lot! We're not sure if she completely associates it with Brian yet, because she says it to other people too. She can wave bye bye, do "Indian girl" by making indian noises with her mouth, and she tries to do the Itsy Bitsy Spider with her hands. She is a sweet child who gives hugs and pats you on the back at the same time. She thinks that dogs are HILARIOUS and laughs at them more than I can get her to!
Brian and I took a cruise 2 weeks ago on the Norwegian Pearl to the Carribbean. It was wonderful. I'm going to write a separate post about that, so I'll give more details there. Kenna's first birthday party is Sunday! We got her decorations the other night and I'm so excited! I didn't really do a "theme". Just pink :)
Here are a few of my favorite pics from the past few months.

The way a Saturday should be...

We have spent this Saturday at home.  We left the house once for only about 30 minutes to take some paint to the dump (which was closed on Saturday) and then to an antique store called Rooster Tails.  I have absolutely loved this day with my husband and little girl.  We talked about how every Saturday should be just like today.  We played with Kenna all day (when she was awake and felt like it) and I ate it all up.  Kenna got tubes in her ears this past Thursday.  She has had 4 ear infections in 5 months, and the doctors decided she was the perfect canidate.  Unrelated, she has a horrible cold and my little sugar cube hasn't felt well at all the past 2 days.  She still plays like a little trooper until she just can't do it anymore!  I miss her so much during the week when I am at work.  I know I am doing what is best for our family by working, but I wish I had more time with her during the week.  I'm sure there are TONS of other parents that feel the same way. 
Brian and I cleaned both of our cars inside AND out!  And of course...it's raining now and Brian's 4Runner is outside.  :)  We also cleaned up the garage and got it organized some.  Brett stopped by to help Brian hang a large mirror that goes with our new dresser.  We also got my office put together finally and got some stuff on the walls that had been sitting on the floor since we moved in.  Kenna is sleeping soundly and I just heard the garage door open from Brian's run to get us a bottle of red wine :)  That's my cue...

Over the river and through the woods...

To Grandma's house we went!  Brian went with the men's church group yesterday to white water raft the Ocoee River and Andy went with him.  So on Friday, me, Mama, and Kenna went for a visit to my Grandma's.  She hadn't seen Kenna since April!  She was so excited.  When we got there she had a HUGE meal fixed and her house was spotless!  Kenna just smiled at her and that made Grandma's day.  I love my Grandma.  Growing up when I ever answered the question who do you want to be like when you grow up, my answer was my Grandma.  She is such a caring, Godly like, strong woman.  Here are a few pictures from the visit.